So, now that this ordeal is finally over with and I can discuss it without wanting to jump off the roof of a parking garage figured I'd post a little write up on how it went. I just finished it all a couple days ago so I don't know if it was effective in solving/reducing my oil consumption or not, but I'll update this post when I get some conclusive results. Overall to sum it up I would say that it was a nightmare and I would sooner sell my car than do it again. That being said, if it does end up solving all my consumption issues then it was the best thing I've done to my car and I wish I'd done it sooner.
First I took a bunch of stuff apart.
Took the upper timing cover off along with the cam bridge/bracket in front and used a screwdriver resting atop my #1 piston to advance it to TDC before removing my valve cover and pulling my cams. Note you need a special tool to remove the control valve assembly that secures the cam bridge onto the intake cam. Something like
this (note: i updated that link a few years after I did this job as the tool I purchased and linked originally disappeared. Double check that it's the right one.). Also note that it is reverse-threaded so twist it clockwise to remove it.
I tried to make this job as easy as possible, so since I didn't want to bother removing my lower timing cover I marked off the links on the chain which lined up with the notches on my cam sprockets, and used zip ties to keep tension on the chain. I did this so I wouldn't jump any teeth on the crank sprocket, because as long as I didn't do that, all I'd have to do for reinstallation is line up the markings on the sprockets with the markings I made on the chain and I'd be right back where I started. Unfortunately it didn't work out like that, but at least I tried.
Here is the zip tie situation, but this is after I inevitably ended up jumping teeth on the crank sprocket, so the markings were removed as they were no longer necessary.
Then I pressurized my combustion chambers to around 80psi to avoid my valves from dropping. I did the cylinders in pairs, only working on ones that were at TDC so that just in case they did drop I wouldn't have lost them, but they still need to be propped up tight when reinstalling the springs or else you'll never get the retainers and keepers on. I used air, I've heard of some people who fill their chambers with rope. Whatever works.
Unfortunately this is what led to me losing position with the crank sprocket. When I connected the air hose to pressurize cylinder 3, the bottom end just began rotating immediately and very quickly, swallowing up the chain, snapping my zip ties and basically ruining my life at that moment. Or so I thought.
Here's the new seals. Intake in red, exhaust in blue. I thought the colors would have made sense the other way around but I'm sure it's just due to the different materials that are used in each (polyacrylic for the intakes and viton for the exhausts).
So if you go back to
this post you'll see the tools I originally ordered for this job. Waste of money. The keeper remover/installer set was good at removing but useless at installing. They're made to work with single-groove keepers and retainers which sit flush with the top of the valve. The setup on our 2.0t motors has neither of these. So I tried to get creative and that failed miserably. I'm only posting this next part so you can know what NOT to do. Don't try this at home.
The reason why you shouldn't do that is because you'll get it all nice and compressed thinking what a genius you are, you'll place it over your valve, place your retainer on top, and right as you have your keepers in place ready to click them in, the zip ties will snap, causing the spring to send your keepers flying off into a dark abyss where they'll never be found. I must have spent 20 minutes peering through every little valley in my cylinder head to make sure they weren't hiding in there, ready to destroy something the moment I started it up. I did have every valley that emptied down into my block plugged up with shop towels (highly recommend you do this), so it could have been worse, but still.
Anyway after giving up, thinking they must just be lost forever in some hidden nook my engine bay, literally almost a week later when bolting everything back together I decided to give it one last check and found one nestled between a main bolt and a crevice in my head. That would have been a very expensive mistake. So yeah, don't do that. Get one of these instead:
I got the entire thing on Amazon for
under $35, and it comes with two sets of valve seal pliers and an air hose for pressurizing your cylinders. So basically everything I bought separately, but better, and less than half the price (the other keeper/installer kit alone was $50). Of course now I had to overnight ship it, so it ended up costing me a lot more than $32.99, but lesson learned. You absolutely need one of these if you're going to be removing your springs with your head on your car. Nothing else will work. Learn from my mistake. This thing made the rest of the job so easy, if I just got it in the first place it would have saved me so much time and aggravation.
The two rearmost exhaust springs couldn't be accessed with the tool mounted normally due to the wheel well and metal lines getting in the way, so I had to get creative and mount it sideways using the bracket as leverage. It worked just fine. The front couple exhaust springs needed the airbox to be removed, and the middle four along with all the intake valves were easy and you had plenty of room to get them out normally.
To reinstall the keepers, lather the inside with your favorite kind of assembly grease to make them sticky. Then do the same to your finger tip. Just compress the spring, poke the edge of the valve with your finger, and decompress. Then with a small flathead or something just compress the spring slightly and rotate the keeper around 180 degrees to the backside of the valve, then repeat the process to get the other keeper on. It's really easy once you have the right tools.
The front cam bridge/bracket has a little screen in it that is probably ripped out and broken on your car as you read this. Apparently it's been revised and you can get a new one
here for $100. I believe if you scroll up a few posts, member Allowencer makes mention of the fact that you may be able to purchase just the screen separately and maybe press it in or something. I don't know how that works. I didn't realize this was broken until the day before I was set to finish everything up, and with all the crap I had to go through (the whole process of having to rush order the valve spring compressor and then the vacuum pump (will talk about that in a sec) cost me about 10 days of this car (my daily driver) sitting in my garage with the motor torn apart while I bummed rides to work every day) I was pretty much completely out of patience with this car and decided to reinstall it as-is. So my car currently does not have this screen. So far it's fine. If anything changes, I'll let you know.
Edit: It wasn't fine. I didn't realize this until a couple weeks later, but going over around 75 mph the car would pop an EPC light putting me into soft limp mode until I restarted the car, not letting me rev over 4k RPMs until I did so. There were a couple engine soft codes that didn't tell me a whole lot, but everything I was able to find through Google said that this is an issue pertaining to low oil pressure. So apparently this little tight mesh screen affects oil pressure enough to trip a low pressure reading on the oil pressure sensor which is right next to the cam control assembly just under the oil filter. It was fine around town, even taking it to redline, but one it hit sustained high RPMs in higher gears on the highway it would shut me down every time without fail. So I swapped out this unit for a new one with a fresh new screen and the problem went away instantly. I'm now able to drive really fast again. So don't try to reinstall this without the screen, you'll just end up having to replace it later.
Another Edit: It came back! So it's not the cam bridge that was causing the EPC light. I think it's my broken cam actuator harness clip. Stay tuned for more details.
Broken screen:
Where I found it: (just under and to the right of my exhaust cam sprocket, in the head.
Here are the old valve seals I took out. I was hoping to get them out in decent shape so I could check out the shape they were in in order to confirm if they were in fact total junk, but the process of removing them pretty much completely destroyed them soo so much for that idea.
So now it's time to put everything back together. At this point I wasn't really in 'document everything' mode, as I was pretty fed up with this whole job to begin with. Basically just put everything back in the way you found it.
Since my ziptied chain decided to go off and do it's own thing I now had to reset my timing from scratch. This ended up working out, but was more of a gamble than I would have liked. Ideally you'd have the lower timing cover off as well, and will be able to line up grey links on your chain with the notches on your three sprockets (one crank and two cams). Since I didn't have access to my crank sprocket, I had to more or less guess where it was in relation to my cams. Luckily there's a notch on the crank pulley which lines up with a very faint and sorta convoluted notch on the oil pan next to it when it's at true TDC. Here's what that looks like:
It's impossible to see with your radiator and stuff in the way, so I did the ol' screwdriver in the spark plug hole trick to get it there and then shoved my phone up in there to take those pics, brought it down to look at it, and deemed it to be about as close as I'd be able to muster given how non-descript the marking on the oil pan was. You can see I tried to clean it off with some degreaser which helped a bit.
After that I had a blast scraping all my 125k+ mile baked-on gaskets off my head and valve cover, then lined the inside of the valve cover with some Permatex anaerobic gasket maker which is 1/10 the cost of the Audi-branded stuff they recommend you use while being literally the exact same thing. The manifold has grooves cut into it where the gasket maker goes, so it's easy enough to figure out. Make sure to scrape them all out and fill them all back up otherwise you'll have leaks and have to do this all over again. Which sucks, because your valve cover doubles as your cam bridge holding them down and torqued correctly. There are also no cam bearings (they just sit between the head and valve cover, which are aluminum and apparently good enough), and the valve cover bolts are torque-to-yield so you should replace them when reinstalling it. Clean out and then cover all the cam journals, rockers, springs, cams themselves, etc all in oil before bolting everything back up. They won't be getting oil right away from the motor and you don't want to run this stuff dry. By the way the valve cover bolt torque specs are like 8 ft-lbs and then a 90 degree turn. It's important to get this right since you're essentially torquing down your cam journals.
Also when reinstalling everything there is a vacuum pump on the back of the head that the exhaust cam sits in which drives that pump (which provides vacuum which powers your power brakes) as well the high pressure fuel pump, which bolts into the vacuum pump. Take your time getting this installed correctly. Take the HPFP out of the vacuum pump, fit the vacuum pump over the end of the cam and make sure it's oriented correctly, then bolt that onto the head and then reinstall the HPFP. Don't just eyeball it, jam it on there and torque it down. Because that's what I did. Apparently it wasn't lined up as great as I thought, so I pushed the innards of the pump out the back of itself, bowing the rear plate which caused a massive vacuum and oil leak on startup which rendered my power brakes useless and dumped about a quart of oil onto my transmission and garage floor in the 30 seconds I had it running. Another expensive overnight-shipped rush order, this one to the tune of around $300. But hey at least now I have a nice new vacuum pump ;_;
Here's the old pump with the bowed out rear plate:
And here's the new pump before installing it:
And here's everything all nice and buttoned up. A sight for sore eyes, for sure.
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