It's definitely possible to have a completely failed wheel bearing and yet still pass the "shake a wheel" test.
Did you watch the second half of that above video? It sounds very similar to the second video you shared in your first post. That "Driving over a grated bridge" noise.
All the other symptoms you described point to the wheel bearing in my opinion (getting quieter when loaded/turning, consistent with speed not rpm, etc). Could it be something else? CERTAINLY, however if I were a betting man, that is where I would place my money (especially since rear wheel bearing failure on the B5 platform is not uncommon), and since wheel bearings are not expensive or terribly difficult to install, that is where I would start. Either way I hope you find the source and report back to what ends up fixing it
Bookmarks