This B6 S4 has been a dream the last few months.

June: battery dies $150 for new battery. Lasts two months, stranding me several times because...
September: alternator goes out -bye bye $1000 (not loving the water cooled alternators)
Oct: valve cover gaskets $500
Nov: right side pre-cat (JHM Tune fixed that :) $750
Jan: More battery issues.... $??? here's where I need your help!

Symptoms: Car battery connection resets when I get in the car, display is completely black when I get in the car. I put the key in the ignition, car takes 5 seconds to reboot itself, display resets to 12:00, date is 8/1/2003.

Then yesterday and today I hit the unlock on my fob and the alarm goes off. I got it to shut off yesterday, but today it would not turn off. Keep in mind, it's and S4 and I typically drive it like I stole it... today the car was acting as if I did actually steal it... I drove all the way home with the alarm in the trunk beeping and the flashers going off. WTF? Also, prior to and since battery replacement my battery terminals have had a corrosion problem. At one point there was smoke coming off the battery terminals :(. After much searching, I've found a decent thread with similar symptoms however they go down the pathway of cam position sensors & ignition switches... I don't think those are my problems. And the more I think of it, the alarm issue is likely related to the battery resetting itself.

Is this a:
  1. Positive terminal fuse issue?
  2. Positive cable issue?
  3. Electrical short?
  4. Something I'm not thinking of


Any thoughts are helpful, I'm going to spend a lot of time on this I think but hopefully not a lot more money.

EDITS: bad grammar