034 being smart asses

[Mattkrim]

Im in school stuck behind a computer and this gave me a good laugh so i figured i would share.

http://store.034motorsport.com/turbo...tor-for-posers.

(read item description)

[WB650]

Link doesn't work

FIX? http://store.034motorsport.com/turbo...or-posers.html

[Mattkrim]

Link doesn't work

FIX? http://store.034motorsport.com/turbo...or-posers.html

Idk why mine didn't work, yours did though. Thanks.

[WB650]

No HTML at the end of yours 😉

[MNAudi101]

They also brought us this:

http://store.034motorsport.com/034mo...pair-2-7t.html

[Edvan]

Link doesn't work

FIX? http://store.034motorsport.com/turbo...or-posers.html

Them "Reviews" Lol

[KHARDa4]

Lol that's good stuff right there

[customa4]

The sad part is you could really buy it. I just added the 2.7T intercoolers to the cart.

[NathanGrayW]

The sad part is you could really buy it. I just added the 2.7T intercoolers to the cart.

I mean, everything in the description of the parts is true. They simply flow more than any other intercooler you can buy!


Although, I'm more intrigued with their 'Hella flush stance lowering kit'

[blitz2190]

surprised everyone missed this comment in the first one, its under their discription.
NOTE - IF YOU ARE STUPID ENOUGH TO BUY THIS, WE WILL CHARGE YOUR CREDIT CARD AND NEVER SHIP YOUR ORDER AS WE WOULDN'T BE CAUGHT DEAD STOCKING SUCH A RIDICULOUS PRODUCT AT OUR FACILITY

[customa4]

If I was sent $10,000 for an intercooler I would go out of my way to make sure I satisfied the order damn it! I missed that little note when I went to check out, glad I didn't put any PayPal info.

[treysgreen]

[KHARDa4]

The sad part is you could really buy it. I just added the 2.7T intercoolers to the cart.

They would probably tell you it's a joke. I would hope so

[blitz2190]

Man i need that hella flush kit

It's not easy being a suburban pimp.

Yea, you got your sick kicks from Fatlace, your new hoodie from Illest, your pants are just the right proportion of sag and tight, male and female. Your hat perched on your head with just the perfect amount of off-center kilter. Your shirt looks like you were standing against a wall that was graffitied in the 80's.

You've got the ultimate girl friend who always looks like she's about to cry, her unfinished tattoos, applied when she was close to blacking out drunk, are an inspiration to the vision she lives her life with. They will look even better in 30 years.

You've been in college for 6 years and are kicking ass, making great progress - you should have enough units to get your general courses out of the way in 3-4 years.

All that is left is your car...

Its a former World Challenge GT Race car passed down to you from your Dad, though it can lap Laguna Seca in under a minute thirty and pulls 1.8 g's sustained in cornering, its just not hella flush and its cramping your style.

The racing springs and Ohlins TTX shocks keep the contact patches perfectly on the ground at all times, but they're just too high. The fender gap is 1 finger tall, and the wheels sit too far inset, the tires don't even rub on the fenders! Its a travesty and you're tired of being the butt of jokes at the local GTG at the Asian bubble tea store. The perfectly installed tires look sorely too narrow and need to be stretched to the point of destroying the contact patch.

Bottom line, the car is way to fast and not hella flush enough.

A local shop in town quoted what you need to do, but its super expensive and you already spent all your money cutting up a bunch of vinyl dope stickers. They want to sell you air bags, an expensive pump and control system - you need to notch your frame rails so the axles will clear. The list goes on and on.

Well, 034Motorsport has the solution for you!

As fast and easy to install as an Ed Hardy shirt, the 034Motorsport Hella Flush Lowering Kit gives your car the Hella Flush look that will make you the envy of all your friends.

Why $795 you ask? Well, this is really good vinyl, plus the engineering and development time that went into this product is second to none. Plus to properly lower your car this low would cost at least $10,000 so this is really a bargain!

Buy and install your kit today, rock your alternative life style with confidence, be different than everyone else with millions of other people, stand for a way of life that says "My life has meaning because I carry style swagger"!

[Audi body]

I wonder if the jokes are for just Audi owners?

[BARRY]

HAHAHAHA. love this!

[034Motorsport]

Don't forget the Hella Flush Stance Kit product video!



Most of these items were done as April Fool's Day product releases, and we've kept them up on the site for years. Nobody has ever bought one. If they did, we'd refund them right away.

[Mattkrim]

Don't forget the Hella Flush Stance Kit product video!



Most of these items were done as April Fool's Day product releases, and we've kept them up on the site for years. Nobody has ever bought one. If they did, we'd refund them right away.

I really do like a company that can joke around

[my1stturbo]

After a long day, that hella flush stance kit was a great laugh!

[diagnosticator]

The item is bogus. 034 is confused about how this device works, and the alleged noise it produces desired by posers. The deal with this item is that is produces a whistling sound like a turbo spooling up/down, not a blow off valve boost air release discharge sound during gear shifts. Lame!

[blitz2190]

Don't forget the Hella Flush Stance Kit product video!



Most of these items were done as April Fool's Day product releases, and we've kept them up on the site for years. Nobody has ever bought one. If they did, we'd refund them right away.

Extra for the ones that stay on right? made me laugh lime hell ha