You dont HAVE to put a Forge DV on. It's just a perm fix for the OEM "problem". Some people run the OEM DVs without problem. Others just flash the car back to stock and bring it to the dealer when the DV tears.
As for your car, chip (Revo, APR, GIAC), exhaust (AWE, APR), intake (SKIP - just buy a panel filter like ITG). Thats performance. For looks, I'd suggest a drop with some new springs and shocks. People will say coilovers, but those are mainly for aggressive driving or tracking the car. If you dont see yourself going to the track a lot, shocks & springs will be more than enough. Add the s4 or rs4 rear sway to stiffen the handling and reduce understeer.
Anyways, welcome to the forum! There's tons of info out there, and millions of ideas of what direction to take with your car.
Congrats!
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