Help with tree dropping removal

[04blackout]

As the title suggests, I am in dire need of some tree dropping removal. Here is some background:

Went camping out of state, parked under some trees, got all these crazy berries and other assorted tree droppings on my car. Being in the middle of nowhere for a while, no car washes were around, nor did I pack any stuff to clean up.

Fast forward to now a week or so later as a gainfully employed apartment dweller, I hadn't been able to get time to take care of it. My bad, I know.

So I washed it with a bucket and mitt, no luck. Clay bar, no luck. Bug & tar remover, no luck. Dish soap, no luck.

And here's the real genius part: I took some advice from a buddy after all these steps and fearing now bare paint, I threw some wax over it. I think that was dumb, because now I think the tree stuff is sealed in (although no bare paint elsewhere).

So, I think I need some help removing tree stuff under a layer of wax. PC is not in the plans right now (again, apartment dweller), so if there are any suggestions outside of that, that would be fantastic.

[Dark 'n' Dirty]

If the sap has been on the car for a week or so, you'll probably see some etching when you remove it. Just use some 70% Isopropyl alcohol with a clean terry cloth. Soak a corner of the terry cloth with alcohol and throw some on the sap as well. Work the alcohol into the sap spot by using a small circular motion. When the cloth gets saturated with sap, use another corner and keep applying alcohol until the spot is removed. Rinse spot with water, polish and apply sealant. This subject has been covered in the forum a bunch of times in the past.

[04blackout]

I tried a 50/50 dilution of 91% isopropyl today with no luck. It's almost as if all the spots have become part of the paint, i.e. the rough parts above the surface have been taken down by polish and clay and now the spots are smooth as glass. I presume that's etching.

I tried to get some pictures today but all I get is my reflection; it looks kinda like the pictures in this thread: http://www.audizine.com/forum/showthread.php?t=136559

I'm losing faith that any hand products will work, I think I have to get myself a PC and ultimately find a place to plug in and get after it, unless there's anything else I can try (doubtful). Would I expect the Menzerna IP and Micropolish combo from DD to take care of this? I do have some light swirls and decent scratches around the door handles/window sills anyway (I think there was a dog in the previous owner's life). Just want to make sure that I'm purchasing the right stuff and not wasting a few hundred bucks.