I dont know what the adjustability is on your co's, but if you can adjust bound and rebound seperately i would suggest setting the bound on the rears to almost full stiff and rebound on a medium to soft setting. On the fronts i would set the bound to medium and the rebound to medium to stiff. Your going to have to fine tune it, but this is a good start for an awd car. To really make a difference youll have to change spring rates though, as adjusting the struts will only do so much.
As far as the axles are concerned, your friend is correct. The only real reason for doing this is preventing lift and constant axle breaking. If the cv is at an angle when you launch the torque applied to it will make the joint want to straighten out, this will lead to the suspension extending or an axle breaking. This isnt as big of a deal on an awd car though. Preloading the drivetrain while staging will help keep this from happening, but it takes some practice to perfect.
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